‘Let’s be part of a civil debate’
Wednesday September 3, 2003 Roderick Benns
This is a multi-part series exploring the issue of same-sex marriage from a variety of community perspectives. Today, we speak with Bill Gunson, a retired school teacher.

As someone who has been in a monogamous relationship for 28 years, it’s hard for Bill Gunson to wrap his mind around the idea that his relationship could affect a heterosexual relationship in any way.

But as a gay man living in Peterborough, Bill knows full well the unfolding narrative and development of gay culture – the sense of sadness, as he calls it, that people are not willing to live and let live.

He used to fear for his job, for instance, as a drama teacher with a local school board. Up until human rights laws were created to protect those against sexual orientation discrimination in the workplace, the fear was valid, he points out.

Now, as new Canadian legislation is about to be crafted that could legalize same-sex marriages, he says this is an important and significant development for gay culture. “It says you are a real person, and are valued like anyone else,” Bill says of the law.

Whether or not he and his partner will choose to take advantage of the legislation change is something they will have to decide upon together, says Bill. “But it is the removal of the last bastion of legal discrimination” against gay people, he notes.

Newspapers are filled with letters to the editor, says Bill, that seem to incite anger on both sides of the debate. “Let’s moderate the language and listen to one another,” Bill says.

“I have yet to have someone show me how a gay marriage could affect a heterosexual marriage,” he notes. “It would be best for everyone if we could get rid of the vitriolic language.”

Bill says he often wonders whether the people opposed to gay marriages have ever met a committed gay couple. “The common ground to find is that everyone should be looking at what makes a relationship work – when you find out what makes a relationship worthwhile you will find it is the same” thing as in any heterosexual relationship, says Bill.

The retired teacher says it is difficult to comprehend that he is part of a group that is erroneously defined by its sexual activity. “It’s too bad because I don’t know of any other group defined by what they do in bed,” he says.

The need to stop painting all religions and denominations as anti-gay and all gay people as deviant is self-evident, if one is to be part of a rational debate, says Bill.

Once this was accomplished, if there was any kind of bridging initiative in the community that would help move the dialogue along further, Bill says he would definitely like to play a role.

“Let’s be part of a civil debate.”

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